Several of my friends told me that they were highly disappointed with the Twilight film. I, however, was not. I expected it to be terrible. Any film that has the tagline “When you can live forever what do you live for?” is not a film that I expect to be impressed by. I confess that I have not read the books and I know some would say that this puts me in no position to be discussing the film. But I disagree. If anything, I am in a better position to discuss the film as I can analyse it in its own right, without having my views sullied by comparisons to the book.

My main criticism of the film is that it takes itself far too damn seriously. This is a romance revolving around vampires, for Christ’s sake! Lighten up! Even serious films should make us laugh or smile once or twice. It’s one of the most effective ways of getting your audience to relate to your characters. Perhaps this is why I had such a hard time doing so in Twilight. I found both Edward and Bella to be unpersonable, quite dull and lacking in any emotions other than “obsessive-to-the-point-of-creepy-stalkerish-love” and “woefully-misunderstood”. It was particularly difficult comprehending what made Bella quite so special and quite why everyone around her loved her unconditionally. Then again, she was the only female character with anything approaching a three-dimensional personality. The supporting characters can each be described in just a few words and this was probably why all the dialogue rang quite hollow. The film’s sole redeeming quality is its soundtrack and without it the film would be truly emotionless and dead.

And seriously, vampires sparkling in the sunlight? You have got to be kidding me…

Stephen Lovejoy

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