‘Good Week, Bad Week’ returns after an extended winter break with our latest offering of the irrational, the eccentric and the bizarre news to hit our pages in the last week…

A Good Week For…Sinners

Sinners all over the digital world have been rejoicing the Roman Catholic Church’s recent approval an iphone app called Confession, designed for the average sinner to compile and confess to a list of their most devious deeds. For just £1.19 the Iphone app offers a tick-list of sins based on the Ten Commandments to help the user keep track of just how naughty they really are. For those who excel the boundaries of bad there is a special section of unanticipated confession “in which Catholics [can] admit their wrongdoings”. The app, termed as “the perfect aid for every penitent” distributes advice and handy hints on how to lead a harmonious and less sinful life. Pope Benedict XVI has surprisingly declared his support for the iphone app, which he believes gives “birth to a new way of learning and thinking”. The Confession App is surely the ultimate accessory for every noteworthy Catholic.

A Bad week for… Top Gear

“That’s why we aren’t going to get any complaints about this, because at the Mexican embassy the ambassador is going to be sitting there with a remote controller like this… (Clarkson does an astoundingly accurate impersonation of a lazy moron)” – the complex inner workings of broadcasting genius Jeremy Clarkson. It must be quite hard to be an eleven year old playground bully trapped in the body of a bloated, tweed clad, mutton dribbling Tory, but then, I suppose, at least he’s not Richard Hammond. Mexicans are “Lazy, Feckless and flatulent.” – The complex inner workings of broadcasting genius Richard Hammond, who went on to add “Imagine waking up and remembering you’re Mexican.” Imagine waking up and remembering you’re Richard Hammond. I would like to meet whoever dresses him and congratulate him/her on the hilarious joke; (Hammond, cringing Clarkson acolyte in chief, has in recent series had the look of a man trying to convince everyone he’s a seven-year-old girl). James May, may have said something offensive, but I expect the sycophant was just please to be out of the firing line for once.

Some apologists for the show have called the incident, which has needless to say generated a number of complaints, a publicity stunt. Calculated racism: what a hideous nadir for the show… and decidedly not funny.

By Helena Murphy and Callum Paton

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