The University of Nottingham has today confirmed that it is set to introduce a regular ‘Hopper’ bus service between popular student area Lenton and University Park campus. While it has been a seemingly perennial objective of the Students’ Union, the proposals had all but stalled in March 2010 when former President Rob Greenhalgh described the chance of it happening as “very low”.
The new service is set to start after the 2011 Easter Break, with special buses laid on so that students will be able to get to exams on time with minimum physical exertion. A ‘campus monorail’ system was considered but abandoned after fears were raised of its abuse by students on ‘architectural tours’ of residential halls. With tuition fees set to skyrocket, Impact has been assured that the necessary funding is in place to ensure that no student will face the hardship of a 20 minute stroll along Derby Road or an awkward attempt to drive through the north entrance barriers without being stopped by The Man in the Fluorescent Jacket
Prof. Austin Tasseltine, of the Department for Educational Studies, welcomed the plans, stating that “If we’re going to ask an Arts student to brave some crime-ridden backstreet in the middle of a giant slum for the sake of a one-hour lecture in which they may well just be watching a film, the least we can do is allow them to look down on the proletariat from the window of a fancy new exclusive bus on the way.”
Contrary to previous rumours, and after numerous University trials, ‘Karni cocktail’ will not be provided on the buses.