The University of Nottingham has today confirmed that it is set to introduce a regular ‘Hopper’ bus service between popular student area Lenton and University Park campus. While it has been a seemingly perennial objective of the Students’ Union, the proposals had all but stalled in March 2010 when former President Rob Greenhalgh described the chance of it happening as “very low”.

The new service is set to start after the 2011 Easter Break, with special buses laid on so that students will be able to get to exams on time with minimum physical exertion. A ‘campus monorail’ system was considered but abandoned after fears were raised of its abuse by students on ‘architectural tours’ of residential halls. With tuition fees set to skyrocket, Impact has been assured that the necessary funding is in place to ensure that no student will face the hardship of a 20 minute stroll along Derby Road or an awkward attempt to drive through the north entrance barriers without being stopped by The Man in the Fluorescent Jacket

Prof. Austin Tasseltine, of the Department for Educational Studies, welcomed the plans, stating that “If we’re going to ask an Arts student to brave some crime-ridden backstreet in the middle of a giant slum for the sake of a one-hour lecture in which they may well just be watching a film, the least we can do is allow them to look down on the proletariat from the window of a fancy new exclusive bus on the way.”

Contrary to previous rumours, and after numerous University trials, ‘Karni cocktail’ will not be provided on the buses.

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21 Comments

  1. Brian
    April 1, 2011 at 02:57 — Reply

    Cracking news..surely this is the first step to an Ocean Hopper Bus- the Holy Grail of all Student Services??

  2. Joe
    April 1, 2011 at 03:04 — Reply

    I hardly think this is a sustainable move on the University’s part with global warming and the forecasted flooding of the Campus-Lower Lenton Era just around the corner. Perhaps it would be wiser to invest in a flotilla of seacraft and swimming lessons to get future students to Lenton. Although I also understand that as a settlement built on a notorious breeding ground for young sharks, us Nottinghammeroonians, are perhaps, doomed anyway.

  3. April 1, 2011 at 03:10 — Reply

    I’m surprised you haven’t commented on what else the SU has achieved this month. The SU’s new website is impressive and their increased accountability is amazing. You’ve really let yourself down for not reporting on these as well Impact.

    • Michael de V
      April 1, 2011 at 07:45 — Reply

      Frank, any student can submit an article to Impact. Why not write a couple about the new website and increased accountability yourself as we always appreciate enthusiastic writers and I, personally, would be interested to read about these changes.

      You can find all the sections email addresses in the ‘Get Involved’ tab.

      • April 1, 2011 at 08:05 — Reply

        I apologise that my comments came across as too negative. I of course appreciate this coverage of this interesting success of the su; I just meant to say there is always room for improvement. Speaking of there always being room, the problems of storage space for clubs and societies has been sorted by the incorporating of rooms specifically for SU use in the proposed hotel on campus (something else which has been unreported by two of our three SRS’s).

        • April 1, 2011 at 08:34 — Reply

          I think your level of humour is a bit beyond them Frank, haha!

  4. Joe
    April 1, 2011 at 03:23 — Reply

    Didn’t get any in market bar did you Frank?

  5. Francis Rubbish
    April 1, 2011 at 03:32 — Reply

    This is a horrendous case of the people not knowing what’s good for them.

    This service wasn’t implemented before because it wasn’t needed. If anything it shows that the SU Exec this year are just fools who bow down to every silly idea.

    We all choose where to live, we actively go out househunting. If people choose a house at the top of Derby Road, then they shouldn’t have the SU pander to they’re ‘arduous’ walk in to uni. They chose to have that walk. Otherwise they’d have done the clever thing and chosen a house in Dunkirk or the closer parts of Beeston.

    This is an outrageous waste of money that could have gone into something worthwhile, you lazy lazy people.

    • Francis Rubbish
      April 1, 2011 at 03:33 — Reply

      Wait a minute… 😛

  6. Richard Wilkinson
    April 1, 2011 at 05:31 — Reply

    April fools…sigh.

  7. Mark
    April 1, 2011 at 08:51 — Reply

    banter.

  8. David
    April 1, 2011 at 08:56 — Reply

    bwhahaha. Some people need to look at a calendar.

  9. Stephen Lovejoy
    April 1, 2011 at 10:17 — Reply

    Hahahahahaa! Bloody brilliant.

  10. dan
    April 1, 2011 at 12:06 — Reply

    not bad

  11. April 1, 2011 at 13:58 — Reply

    An Exec manifesto pledge that actually happens. Is it April 1st or something?

  12. If you took this seriously you need to take a long look inside
    April 1, 2011 at 22:04 — Reply

    How did people not notice the name of the writer? Frankly if you hadn’t figured it out by the time you got to the writer’s name you have some issues, but to go so far as to post an uppity comment in response takes frankly mind-boggling gullibility. Hats off to whoever came up with the idea of this article, has been a massive day-brightener!

  13. TJ
    April 2, 2011 at 03:03 — Reply

    Clearly an april fools…

    Its pretty good though. I bet Tim Edwards came up with it. He’s probably the funniest and most talented person I’ve ever met.

  14. April 2, 2011 at 09:57 — Reply

    & the SU website has not changed much recently and no SU storage rooms have been announced for the new hotel. Sorry MDV.

  15. April 7, 2011 at 02:22 — Reply

    *Thumbs Up*

    Having paid money to NCT for a bus pass for the academic year, I was definitely horrified that others would be getting a free bus. I rather like whizzing past all the walkers and getting from Derby Grove to campus in 20 mins tops. I think I’ve walked back from campus like 3 times. I’ve never walked in. Shameful I know…

    Anyway, the 34’s only a £1 now for students – bargain!

  16. S
    April 7, 2011 at 18:57 — Reply

    I did think that was a weird name.

    And also about ‘looking down on the proleteriat’ that did make me laugh-I was like “Can they really say that?!”

  17. Phil
    April 8, 2011 at 00:15 — Reply

    I’d be much happier with a free hopper bus to Malaysia and Ningbo campuses. Any SU hopefuls, take note: this could be a vote-winner.

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