It’s the classic concern. Even when you’ve found new friends, signed up to societies, tackled your timetable and, on top of that, consumed an unholy amount of the cheapest alcohol available – every Fresher can wonder how well they’ve really settled in to university halls.

Impact delivers the definitive Top 5 signs that you’ve made it…

1) You’ve stopped pretending you’re a normal person 

Monkey

For some, it didn’t take long for the mask of sanity to slip; for others, it may even still be in place. But after hours… days… even weeks of cordial behaviour, relentless pleasantries and a PG-rated version of your sense of humour, the cracks in the façade have begun to show / been utterly visible from day 1. Mask removed – you now tell crude jokes, reveal guilty pleasures and even boast of your most bizarre beliefs and astounding adventures. Congratulations! You’ve exposed your inner-weird – good job!

N.B. – IMPACT does not encourage you to expose anything else. You may be arrested. And it won’t be our fault.

2) You’ve basically got the plague.

Flu

Fever? Headaches? Suspected liver failure? Though it may feel like plague, its more than likely the infamous ‘Freshers’ Flu’, making you cough and splutter and weep as it rears its miserable head into the bleakness that is the foreseeable future of your wellbeing. Added to that, the fond memories of older students and staff alike reckon that it only gets worse in November. But don’t fret; simply look around you, see how disgustingly unwell everybody else is, and feel satisfied, as you neck your third dose of painkillers for the day, that you’re not out of place in this plethora of germ-ridden students.

3) You’ve sacrificed all standards in the name of cost-effectiveness

money

“£4.50 for two twelve-inch pizzas with very questionable toppings? 87p for thirty slices of synthesised ham-mush? A free t-shirt as soon as I’ve given you all my bank details? SIGN ME UP!” is the rallying cry of anybody well-settled in to university halls – this stuff doesn’t grow on trees anymore you know…

4) You’ve talked of guffs and stuff

Toilet

Nobody wanted to be the first, but, inevitably, the barriers that tower around the discussion of bathroom-happenings must be broken down. Sure, this is less of an issue for those with an en-suite; but you guys can be assured that you’re missing out on the true bonding experience that comes with sharing a bathroom. There isn’t an awful lot closer you can get to someone than hearing / discussing / accidentally witnessing bathroom-happenings. If any of the above has occurred, consider yourself “more-settled-in-than-is-necessary”.

5) You’ve called it home

Home sweet home

N’aww, a sweet one to finish on, which, after discussion of toilets and disease, is perhaps necessary. Everybody says how strange it is to suddenly, and very unpredictably, refer to your halls as “home” in passing conversation. While it is an odd feeling, absolutely, to be so attached to your halls so soon, it is undeniably also a delightful one – and arguably also the ultimate in realising that you’ve settled in.

James Noble

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Header image: Iceaxejuggler

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1 Comment

  1. Anonymous
    October 19, 2013 at 16:53 — Reply

    Typo on title 3

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