After a perilous journey up the M1 in his 2010 VW Polo (with epic speakers), Jack Wills-Abercrombie began his quest for social validation. Armed with a wardrobe of stripy polo shirts and an insatiable desire for banter-infused lash, he has now cemented his position as the arch-BNOC of University Park. Jack feels it is now his duty to endorse the BNOC message. He’s less about Uni, and more about UNAY!
It’s my first year and I’ve realised that I totally hate my degree. What should I do about it?
This is music to my BNOC ears. Grab some voddy and PARTY ON. It’s any wonder how people have time to study with such abundant lash banter anyway.
My day pretty much goes like this: wake up, eat, FIFA, eat, gym, eat, lash, repeat. Some say I live in a bubble. Others say I’m living the dream. For me, this is living the dream, and, quite crucially, involves no lectures at all. If you must work, it should be reserved for the week leading up to exams and the day before essay deadlines. Outside of these times, your day should be dedicated to one thing and one thing only: not giving a fuck.
We’ve all done GCSEs and A-Levels. It’s time for a well-deserved break. A degree is a mere piece of paper which lets Deloitte/Ernst and Young/KPMG know you’re not a piece of shit. Scrape through with even a 2:2 and all will be fine.
Would you really trade all that partying, pulling and social climbing for a lousy first in something you actually enjoy? Sort out your priorities.
If you have any questions that you would like Jack to answer, send your queries to firstname.lastname@example.org.