After a perilous journey up the M1 in his 2010 VW Polo (with epic speakers), Jack Wills-Abercrombie began his quest for social validation. Armed with a wardrobe of stripy polo shirts and an insatiable desire for banter-infused lash, he has now cemented his position as the arch-BNOC of University Park. Jack feels it is now his duty to endorse the BNOC message. He’s less about Uni, and more about UNAY!
I’m currently working on an essay, and like a true lad I’ve left it to the night before. It’s going to need an all-nighter to finish, so I was wondering if you had any advice to help me push through the night?
That’s hardly extreme laddishness Luke. Once I wrote an essay on my way to handing it in six days late. Other times I just take the full hit. YOLO.
However, if you must insist on embracing that shladdish ritual, there are a number of essential accompaniments.
1) A shit load of Red Bull for one. Think a very standard night at Crisis minus the Jaeger.
2) Big tunez. Aim for Outlook comes to Hallward. Anthems to keep your mind BUZZING through the night. Just turn up your Dre Beats and fuck the haters.
3) Fortune Boy. Keep the brain fuel coming in all its reconstituted glory.
4) Jaeger for when it’s handed in. You don’t want that Red Bull to feel lonely. So what if it’s 10am? Bun dat.
So I really hope that helps with your slavish work ethic. Needless to say you’ll be going out that night, so make sure to get some rest.
Shouldn’t be too hard after all those energy drinks.
Shout out to BNOCS worldwide,
If you have any questions you would like Jack to answer, send them to [email protected]
Image: Dawn Ashley