Pitbull’s new song ‘Timber’. Feat. Ke$ha.
Alice Ratcliffe is a third year English student, and whilst this has blessed her with an irreplaceable ability to make the work of the good people over at Wikipedia.com seem like her own, it has also armed her with the tools to ruthlessly dismantle the most banal and inane qualities of popular culture.
Pitbull and Ke$ha. Both of them. Together. In one song.
Now, based on their previous individual song history, I wasn’t naïve enough to think that a musical collaboration would be an ideal situation for my ears, but they have really surpassed themselves with this thing.
Interlaced with some casual objectification and degradation of women via the tried and tested medium of a catchy-chorus and a few meaningful rap interludes.
Some sort of latino-americanpopsick-hoedown fusion all about ‘getting down’ on ‘that night’ and living while we’re young in the Hotel, Motel, Holiday Inn interlaced with some casual objectification and degradation of women via the tried and tested medium of a catchy-chorus and a few meaningful rap interludes.
Let’s have a look at Pitbull first shall we? Because he’s got some really interesting and informed things to say about the role of women in the 21st century. Well, I’m assuming he’s talking about women – he never actually specifies – but the meaning gets a bit odd if we think of ‘them’ and ‘they’ as Llamas or something.
‘Like Miley Cyrus, clothes off twerking in their bras and thongs.’
So…let’s say that it is women that he ‘has like Miley Cyrus, clothes off twerking in their bras and thongs’ like some sort of production line of jiggling electric dolls rolling by on a conveyor belt.
And it is women that he wants ‘face down, booty up’ (really not leaving a lot to the imagination there are you Pit?) without them having any say in the matter, or the position.
Because, of course, they are the TIMBER that gives this masterpiece its enigmatic title; inanimate lumps of heavy material with no capacity for independent thought, falling down at his feet left right and centre.
Women, women everywhere, all over this fat, bald man just like they should be. I imagine that sort of situation could get a bit dangerous, maybe even annoying, but not for Pitbull, no, because, as he explains; ‘that’s the way he likes to what’.
Yes, that’s right. Precisely.
He clearly thinks he’s the bees knees and to be honest, why wouldn’t he? I’ve just told you he’s fat and bald, add ‘short’ to that list and there you’ve got every woman’s dream man.
Not to mention that he can fly. Oh yeah. He lets that little nugget of info slide out in the second verse: ‘Look up in the sky, is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s just me’.
Of course it is. Flying. Obviously. Because that’s just one of the many perks that comes with being an international rap extraordinaire. Duh.
However, all of that said, he does give a little hint that, despite being follicly-challenged and capable of unaided aviation, getting women isn’t always that easy for him. Sometimes, they don’t even want to ‘go down’ with him.
Despite being follicly-challenged and capable of unaided aviation, getting women isn’t always that easy for him.
Luckily though, P-B has a trick up his sleeve for solving such a problem; he’s very, very greasy. In fact, he’s ‘slicker than an oil spill’ and so, even if ‘she says she won’t’ he can win her over with a bit of viscosity and the ability to float on water, meaning he can ‘bet she will’ with quiet – if not slightly menacing – confidence.
So, it becomes clear that even if the ‘timber’ doesn’t fall straight away, with a bit of environmental damage, it eventually will. And, as a side note, Pitbull likening himself to a manmade catastrophe that blights the purity of our fragile earth is perhaps the most accurate lyric in the entire song.
Pitbull likening himself to a manmade catastrophe that blights the purity of our fragile earth is perhaps the most accurate lyric in the entire song.
So that’s him, a narcissistic misogynist so wrapped up in his own ego that he quite literally can’t see the wood for the trees – then again I wouldn’t have expected much else from a man who willingly chooses to call himself Pitbull.
But I’m afraid Ke$ha doesn’t do much better.
When she burst onto the scene a few years ago in an explosion of glitter with ripped-up tights and a bottle of Jack for toothpaste, she promised me something different to the cardboard cut-out females already dominating the pop scene.
Ke$ha promised individuality and edginess but then, oh wait, someone else got there first, and someone else before that, so oops! it turned out she was just exactly the same.
Ke$ha promised individuality and edginess but then, oh wait, someone else got there first, and someone else before that, so oops! it turned out she was just exactly the same. Another pretty face manufactured in the same mould, meaning her songs could be Katy Perry’s, could be Jessie J’s (no, probably not enough warbling), could be Lady Gaga’s and so on and so on and so on.
Yet with this one, no doubt influenced by the depravity of her partner in crime Pitbull, she turns a little bit more serious. Some might even say sinister: ‘Let’s make a night you can’t remember, I’ll be the one you won’t forget’.
You’ll be the one he won’t forget, too right, he’ll see you forever in his sparkly back-combed nightmares.
You’ll be the one he won’t forget, too right, he’ll see you forever in his sparkly back-combed nightmares. Poor guy. Unless you’re talking about Pitbull, in which case, great.
So you see, they’re both as bad as each other. Two wrongs making a very, very big wrong. And yet, despite all of this, I’m sure ‘Timber’ is going to rocket to the top of the charts. After all, nobody will really be listening to the lyrics, they’ll be too caught up in enjoying that COUNTRY TWIST.
Oh yes, almost forgot about that; a contrived little splash of the ever-popular Country-and-Western genre, perfect when combined with whining pop and slurred rap.Think ‘urban Cotton-Eye Joe’ and you’re pretty much there. Don’t forget to listen out for the accordion and the banjo, they really add some flavour to this melting pot of slop.
Barn-dance culture is so in right now.
And, finally, make sure that when Pitbull shouts ‘Swing your partner round and round!’ (which he does – a lot) you do it with all your heart, ignoring any drinks you might spill or people you might bulldoze, because his word is law and barn-dance culture is so in right now.