Christmas: a time for family, food… And unwanted gifts. Impact columnist Natalie reveals the worst Christmas presents she, and people she knows, have ever received…
- Condoms. On the surface this doesn’t sound like a bad gift – they’re useful, expensive, and you’ll never be caught short again. However, this gift takes a drastic turn for the worse when given to you by none other than… Your mother.
- Deodorant. Unlike the expensive and thoughtful gift of perfume, deodorant is the pressie that comes with a hint: you smell.
- The uncut version of Brokeback Mountain on DVD. My friend was given this gift after coming out to his parents. His ‘PC’ dad insisted on having a movie night with the whole family to show their support: it made for a very awkward Boxing Day, complete with a Q&A session.
- Penis shaped cake-tin. This would be very funny if given to you by your housemate, but from your uncle?! Too weird.
- The dreaded Christmas jumper. It’s itchy, it’s hideous, but my nan made it, and if I didn’t wear it at least once she would have cried.
- Book tokens. Apparently they still do these? It was fine when you were in primary school but now, I’d prefer the money.
- Head scarf. Apparently my great aunt is still living in the 50’s.
- A suitcase. This would be a pretty cool gift, but at thirteen years old I think my parents were trying to tell me something.
- A bonsai tree. Seriously? You may as well give someone a child! It’s heavy, it’s impossible to look after, and it’s ridiculously inconvenient to move around.
- HUGE granny pants. How is this not the most insulting present in all of existence? Not only is it accusing you of having a massive arse, it’s also insinuating that no-one will ever see you in your underwear!
Photo: Interiorrain via Flickr.